We've Never Been Wrong about...

Seasonal Drafts: The highs and lows of fantasy football and seasonal woes

Welcome back to month two of We’ve Never Been Wrong, a new and exciting explosion of opinion in which two 20-something women attempt to convince their small community of readers that they’ve never been wrong.

First Quarter

Bernadette and the Incoming Winter Season Reach a Tentative Truce.

It's officially late fall. November, the last full month of fall that gives way to the winter season. I enjoy fall. It's an easy season. Mild temperatures, less bugs, good smells, and cider. Fall and I’s relationship is deterred by the fact that it gives way to winter. Last fall, I dreamt of November before it came. I awoke in the cold sweat of a nightmare, in which all of the leaves had prematurely fallen from the trees. “What horror! Leaves falling from the trees!”...as they do every year, as surely as the Earth spins on its axis. This dream unnerved me. I assured myself that we still had a few more weeks of leaves but the damage had been done. I mourned each leaf as it hit the ground. “Winter is coming.” 

On Halloween this year, I closed up the farm stand early, feeling at the height of my “autumnal glory.” a day later when I returned to the farm, the idyllic New England fall I had left was nowhere to be seen. All of the pumpkins, winter squash, and gourds that littered the walkway were gone. A true ghost town. The first hard frost had come promptly on November 1st and all our produce was shuffled inside for safekeeping. I was shaken. The week prior had baited me with unseasonably warm weather and thrust me straight into my mourning period. The bare trees and cloudy skies glare back at me, forcing me to eat my breakfast inside. What cruel game is this?

Recently while mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, the algorithm presented me with the glories of cyclical living. It sounds lovely. Calm women, who appear to have discovered the secret to inner peace, call out to me across the void of Instagram. These women preach a life of harmony with the cycles of your body and 4 seasons. It sounds perfect; in touch with nature and your body. A peaceful existence. Aesthetic videos of women cuddling under piles of blankets as they lean into the winter season feels so right and maybe even a little inspiring compared to my dread for the coming winter. I search deeper for guidance. How might I, a young 20 something woman, learn to live with my body this winter instead of against it? I find journals, apps, and “new paradigms for women in business”. Apparently I’ve been trying to fit my infradian self into a man made 24 hour day. I need to “activate my cycle.” It’s my “business superpower” and I can unlock the secrets for only $1600 a year. The deeper I look into this process, the more frustrated and confused I get. Why is my seasonal bliss behind a paywall? If the issue comes from living in this man-centric world, where 24hr days and work weeks are valued over monthly and seasonal shifts, then why is the solution being sold online. It’s frustrating and disappointing. I deserve to find common ground with the seasons of my life both internal and external. We all do. This online idea of cyclical living profits on the deep seeded and very real struggles, frustrations, and intrinsic desires of young women, who feel out of sync with themselves, their communities, and nature. 

It is disheartening to see these seasonal influencers all across social media and while frustrating, I’m uncovering what should have been apparent from the cognitive dissonance that is searching for online solutions to outdoor, seasonal struggles. Kids find complete joy in the winter. The first snow is an explosion of excitement and wonder. They wage expeditions through the arctic climate, bundled in puffer coats, mittens, snow pants, hats, and even neck gaiters. It’s not kids who struggle when the cold hits but rather adults who fight and complain about the colder temperatures, seeking the comfort of their beds and heated homes. Maybe the solution to my problem is just that. Maybe I should buy a warm coat and go outside once in a while? Take up an outdoor winter activity and spend a little time being uncomfortable in the cold. Perhaps then, I’ll find my appreciation for our 4th and final season. In other words, go touch snow Bernadette.

Infiltrating The NFL At The Local, State, and Federal Level by Julia Dwinell

Like Taylor Swift, I am infiltrating the NFL using clever tactics made popular by Greta Gerwig's Barbie movie. Since I am not quite at the level of dating an NFL player I am doing what I can at the local level which involves me dominating in my male-dominated family fantasy football league. Allow me to explain. 

So what is fantasy football? 

Essentially you are creating your dream football team based on all the active players currently in the NFL. Then when those players play in their games on Thursdays, Sundays, and Mondays depending on how well they do, you score points. For example, if Mac Jones is on your team and he throws a touchdown pass you will score points. If more realistically he throws three interceptions during the game he will lose points and go into the negatives. The moral of the story DO NOT draft Mac Jones. 

Now you don’t need to be a football genius to play fantasy football. The ESPN app has rankings of how well all the players are expected to do and it is all pretty user-friendly. However, having some football knowledge can be helpful. For example one of my players got injured during a game and was out. My brother knew enough (he knows a lot) to know who on that team was the backup running back and I was able to pick up this player, who normally doesn’t do well because he’s the backup, and play him and score a lot of points because he was the starting player that week. 

Now if you saw the Barbie movie (and if you didn’t then slight spoilers alert) then you know how the Barbies manipulated the Kens and took them down from the inside. They planted seeds and sat back and watched the Kens destroy themselves. And this is exactly how men can be controlled in the real world which is why the Barbie movie is so excellent and relatable (and goes over men’s heads). Have you ever said to a man “Oh my god this is so heavy I can barely lift it ?” And they of course say “Seriously you can’t lift that? I bet I could do it with one arm” and then suddenly they are carrying that heavy thing for you and you no longer have to do it? Yeah. It’s so easy. 

Back to Barbie, remember when the Barbies plant suspicion among the Kens and make them weary of each other so they go to war against each other rather than realize what the Barbies are doing? The same strategy is implemented here. When the draft in my league was going on you had 90 seconds to pick a player on your turn. I of course know nothing about football, my brothers know a lot. So what did I do? I asked one of them for advice each turn on what player to pick, my other brother felt left out and would have opposing opinions and would give his suggestion, but I would go with the first brother’s pick. Now my two brothers are mad at each other not knowing why their sister, who knows literally nothing about football and whose opinion means nothing in this instance, is choosing one opinion over the other and so they begin to argue with each other over who knows more about football and trying to prove to me they know who the best players are. All the while I am getting free advice and quietly drafting the top team in the league right under their noses. Seriously. I am the number one team in the league and I have the best record out of all 14 people in the league. That means that my brothers were so focused on proving to me they knew everything about football that they ended up lacking in drafting their own teams. 

Every Week that I win against a man in my family I post my epic victory to my Instagram story with the song Push sung by all the Ken’s sitting around the fire singing at their Barbies. I twist this song around and claim it for myself as I slowly, one by one, defeat the men in my league and take them down from the inside.

Is it too forward of me to compare myself to Greta Gerwig and Taylor Swift? I think not. Greta Gerwig put Ken on the map, Taylor Swift put Travis Kelce on the map and I have now put Fantasy Football on the map. They may be at the federal level, but at the local level, I am absolutely demolishing. So to all my Barbies out there who are stuck in their Mojo Dojo Casa Houses never fear, it is so easy to make the Ken’s tear themselves apart. (Can you tell I am a little bitter about living in a Mojo Dojo Casa House for 20-something years?)

Second Quarter

Bernadette’s Playlist

October Sky by Yebba

Annie and Emma, lovingly referred to as my Indiana friends by the folks at home came all the way from the Mid West to visit me and tour New England. A wonderful and musical time was had by all. Emma reminded me of the existence of Yebba’s 2021 album Dawn and inspired my re-listen. Give it a listen for the first time or once again. Dare I say its better the second time around. The familiar memories mimic a theme of the album; long lost and found again memories. The re-listen feels like remembering. October sky is my pick but any tracks will do the trick.

Annie also curated amazing vibes on aux and navigated me safely from Rhode Island to Maine without incident. Some might call it a miracle.

Julia’s Playlist

You’re on Your Own Kid by Taylor Swift

Would “The Man” by Taylor Swift have fit the theme of this newsletter better? Yes. But I am only suggesting songs on here that I can defend with my life and “The Man” just isn’t one of them. Plus if you are a true fan and made it through the entirety of last month’s newsletter then you know that I do not hear lyrics typically and so instead this week I am suggesting “You’re on your own Kid” because of how it makes me feel which is uplifted, inspired, and overwhelmed. This song makes me think of womanhood, of female friendship, of loneliness, but in a way that makes you feel proud to be who you are. I know that is a lot of feelings from someone who doesn’t fully understand the meaning of this song, but I think that is the real power of music. I think this is one of Taylor Swift’s best songs and although I am a fan of her and her music she does not typically write songs that have the magic Julia formula, but this one does. Of course, I am also on my own at the top of my fantasy football league and it is a pretty good feeling.

Third Quarter

Bernadette’s Library

This past month, I’ve been reading trash literature and LOVING it. Mind off. No thoughts. Do yourself a favor and lay off the Tolstoy and Dostoevsky. I know you’ve been dying to read them ;) but the Russian lit wont go anywhere. Instead, read a topical bad rom com or dystopian that will seem dated in two years. You deserve it. This is my cyclical living! Unfortunately, I cannot recommend any of the books I’ve been reading to you, lovely reader. You must go forth and find the deliciously bad, guilty pleasure book on your own. This is a quest you must do alone and be unapologetic about it. Get something you know is “stupid” in the eyes of others. Live a little. I’ll be back next month with something more substantial. For now, marinate in the nonsensical. Or at least enjoy Julia’s suggestions!

Julia’s Library

The Power by Naomi Alderman

I wanted to loosely tie in my recommendations to the general theme of what I have been writing about so I will suggest The Power by Naomi Alderman which is one of the top books I have ever read. Here is the summary from the back of the book:

“In The Power, the world is a recognizable place… But then a vital new force takes root and flourishes, causing their lives to converge with devastating effects. Teenage girls and women now have immense physical power-with a flick of their fingers they can cause agonizing pain and even death. And, with this small twist of nature, everything changes drastically.”

Esentailly this book asks the question of what would happen if, in today’s society, women suddenly had immense physical superiority over men. What does power do to people? Gender is a construct, but power is an intense force that drives our society. I highly recommend this book. I, of course, have taken my claim to power in stride, I have only made a dozen or so Instagram posts and one newsletter, this book gets a lot darker than that.

Fourth Quarter

Because I can’t shut up I wanted to give a quick update on some art stuff! Those 31 mini-paintings I was doing in October are finally done! If you want to check them out you can see them on my Instagram @juliadwinellart. As I have been doing for the past couple of years, I will be selling the paintings. So if you want a mini piece of original art, go check out my page!

And in other art news, Thursday, November 9th is the Franklin Gallery opening at Escape Into Fiction bookstore where I have my largest (and I think best) painting to date! The gallery will be open until February 15th, but it is always more fun to make it to the opening! Next month I may talk more in-depth about my art, but if you want me to talk your ear off about it in person stop by the gallery on the 9th from 6pm-8pm. If you made it this far into the newsletter (thank you!), I will reward you with a photo.

Thank you for tuning in to the second edition of We’ve Never Been Wrong! Until next month!